stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
