I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
