I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
