I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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