Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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