you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
