i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
