i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
