She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
