a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
