question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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