about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
