Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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