It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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