I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
