i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
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