oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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