It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
