that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
