I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
