Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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