don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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