Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
