We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
