Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
