she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Randomize
