Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
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oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
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