I'm jealous of your bromance
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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