well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
