any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
