Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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