Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It's shark week go big or go home
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
