Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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