a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
