One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
