You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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