I am puke
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
