i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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