remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
