This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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