I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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