fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
