come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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