He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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