i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
