We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
only you would photoshop your dick
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize