this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
PS: I just woke up from my shower
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
