oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Why are your pants in the freezer?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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