i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
