Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
