Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
she peed on how many people?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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