Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I didn't notice because vodka
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
So much Jack, so little girl.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
