So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
All I want is dick and wine.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
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