i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
