you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
