She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize