I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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