If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize